Imposter Syndrome

I keep hearing about Imposture Syndrome on the creative podcasts I listen to, but I don't have that - I know exactly who I am.

Moments Later

So, this business growth guide says I’m supposed to tell a story with each piece to make people fall head over heels for my artwork.

But I’m no Brandon Sanderson; I just know the feeling of love and peace it gives me to work on these pieces.

Sometimes I just think things like.. wow, this blue jay sure is looking BLUEtiful, chuckle chuckle.

Maybe I should take a story writing class.

Scrolls through social media

Wow, look at that artist over there, everyone keeps commenting and interacting with every post, she is so busy! Her business is BOOMING

I'm not engaging enough, how does one become engaging?

The internal spiral begins

Do people like my emails? I don't usually hear back, I must not be writing good emails. . . am I still relevant? Am I going to fail? I have a family and bills to pay, Oh, man, I'm failing, I'm not like those other artists, they have something I don't.

Stares blankly

Oh shit, I think I have imposter syndrome.

This first quarter has been A TRIP.

Like a deep slumber that has gone on too long causing your back to hurt instead of feeling more rested.

I know the first quarter is slow, I've heard its normal, but to me, it has felt like being a plant trapped beneath a thick layer of snow. A hidden struggle that many do not see.

I’m gathering energy, trying to survive, while wondering if other plants sit around second-guessing their leafy existence. I mean, they seem to grow without an existential crisis, and they've been successfully doing it full-time for years.

I know I'll break through the snow-crusted ground of doubt and fear and emerge into the sun, see my glorious tribe, my people, YOU - just as I have before.

So for now, maybe I’ll just power down my phone, take a walk, listen to the sweet sounds of nature and remind myself to have faith.

Spring is coming, we will make it through.

TRUTH: I was really nervous to share this. I have been told to only share artwork, to keep personal out of it, and if I go personal for it only to be positive. But honestly, I'm tired, and a bit too old to listen to others telling me what to do, we get enough of that with social media. I am a business AND a person, I have a voice, feelings, and struggles. You are my community, my people, so I am choosing to have faith over fear in sharing. Because this is a journey we are in together, and sometimes. . . the winter of doubts can be LONG.